At the Two-Year Mark

As I embark on this new educational journey, the start of a new life and career, I am excited, but I am also nervous. Nervous to move to a new state, despite having moved to two countries. Yes, the irony is not lost on me.

When I moved back to the U.S. in July 2024, I chose a city where I felt I could grow. A city completely different from how I grew up, and most importantly, where I grew up. It was the first major city I lived in as an adult.

I made friends here. I built a community here. A community I am finally sad to leave.

I was finally “settled” after moving from place to place every two years, and here I am once again, moving at the two-year mark.

This time, I am moving to a city where I will be alone. Not too far from where I am now, but far enough that I can’t quite drive back every weekend. The condo that I bought has been cleaned and is awaiting a new tenant to call it home.

I am nervous because, for the first time in a long time, I will be doing life alone.

I am nervous because, for the first time in a long time, I will be living with a roommate.

I am nervous because this is different from before. So different from when I moved internationally to start my PhD four years ago. This time, I am a bit older, a bit wiser. I have done the work to make sure I am set up for success.

I am nervous because what about the finances? What if I don’t like my cohort? What if they don’t like me? How will life feel as a student making close to nothing when I have been a working professional for the last six years?

This experience is unlike anything I have done before, and for that, I am nervous.

I am nervous because what if I am not good enough? Smart enough? Bright enough?

These are the things I am nervous about.

And still, I am going.